i thought alot about posting this.

what would be the reaction of those around me be.

so please pretend nothing's wrong after reading.

if you can't ,

then don't.

don't read.

i kept so so much, i really cant handle it anymore.

i need to let some out so i can breathe.

i don't like to be emotional,

but i don't want to fake a smile.

i don't want to pretend nothing is wrong anymore.

urgh.

damn it.

why did you appear?

i rather not see you.

thou i was hoping i'd do.

but i still hoped you never did.

so i wouldn't be left with this mess to pack again.

fug.

again.

and those few words that i've been hearing recently.

it's making me vulnerable.

my confidence, all losing bits by bits.

it sucks.

i'm someone so confident when i'm around my friends and families.

i have to continue pretending to be alright.

cause the difference would be too great.

i can't cry.

it would only make me weaker.

i hate being weak when i actually am.

i cant be weak. i don't look weak.

i might have said that it doesn't bother me or it's okay.

but actually, every time i hear it, my heart rips.

it may be a joke.

a joke for damn 10 years is not so funny.

hah

i'm laughing but i'm not.

that's what's going on.

i thought alot about posting this.

what would be the reaction of those around me be.

so please pretend nothing's wrong after reading.

if you can't ,

then don't.

don't read.

i kept so so much, i really cant handle it anymore.

i need to let some out so i can breathe.

i don't like to be emotional,

but i don't want to fake a smile.

i don't want to pretend nothing is wrong anymore.

urgh.

damn it.

why did you appear?

i rather not see you.

thou i was hoping i'd do.

but i still hoped you never did.

so i wouldn't be left with this mess to pack again.

fug.

again.

and those few words that i've been hearing recently.

it's making me vulnerable.

my confidence, all losing bits by bits.

it sucks.

i'm someone so confident when i'm around my friends and families.

i have to continue pretending to be alright.

cause the difference would be too great.

i can't cry.

it would only make me weaker.

i hate being weak when i actually am.

i cant be weak. i don't look weak.

i might have said that it doesn't bother me or it's okay.

but actually, every time i hear it, my heart rips.

it may be a joke.

a joke for damn 10 years is not so funny.

hah

i'm laughing but i'm not.

that's what's going on.